https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eq37Q_dKao
Watch the video and share your thoughts. Can you think of examples where you might have encountered a miscommunication because of different people using direct and indirect styles? How would you resolve the issue or avoid it from occurring?
Replies 300 word each post
Julia
Growing up, members in our family would watch each other’s children constantly. Nobody ever used an actual day care facility. At the end of each day, the parent would offer money to those that watched the kids. Using a mixture of subtle verbal refusal and body language, the person being offered the money would indirectly communicate a refusal of payment. The compensation act would go as far as physically holding the cash out and trying to place it in the other’s hand. This offer would also then be refused, which led to another persistent advance from the parent. After a second or third refusal the parent would “surrender” and thank them for their help. It was just something that we did. It seemed right and disrespectful not to offer but ruder to accept payment for helping a family member out.
So, imagine the shock and horror that we all felt when a member of the family employed someone outside of the family to watch the kids and the subsequent offer of payment was taken immediately without the usual back and forth “haggling” situation.
We were so used to using the before mentioned indirect style of communication, that for a moment we forget the outside world doesn’t necessarily do that same. It just kind of became a tradition in our family.
This is one of those ‘live and learn’ situations. Obviously, you can’t take back money after it has already been offered and accepted by someone, but we can use that as a teaching moment. We can see that if something is being offered, there may be a very good possibility that the person will accept, so be prepared for that outcome, or simply don’t offer if you don’t really mean it. Intention to follow through on your word is everything, so don’t be upset when the offer is taken.
Katie
After watching the video, I learned a bit more about direct and indirect communicators. After Akanksha Thakur offered her food to her friend, her friend said yes to try some of hers. Perhaps if her friend would have said no the first time, Akanksha would have offered again, and again, until she tried it, because that is part of her Indian Culture. She was surprised that when her friend offered her food, and she said no, that her friend did not ask again. And this is because her friend has a different culture than her. Her friend might have been a direct communicator, getting straight to the point, and taking the first answer as the last answer.
From a personal example, I feel that I am probably an indirect communicator. This is probably because I experience a bit of social anxiety in high-social environments. One example I can think of was an interview I had in the past. When I was asked questions about my work history and about myself, I tended to answer the questions indirectly. I might have said “well, it depends on the situation”, or words like “maybe” or “possibly” when I truly meant “no”, made small talk, and gave highly-detailed answers. My indirect style of communication probably came off as me being unprepared, inexperienced, or not telling the entire truth. Unfortunately, I was being as honest as I could and was very prepared and experienced. But because of my indirectness, it lead to me having a bad interview. During interviews, you typically need to provide direct, clear, and short answers to get to the point. Direct communication often shows that you are confident in your answers. I know that next time I will need to be more direct so that my experience, preparation, and credentials will be better emphasized and shown.