Hi so, I need help editing what I wrote for my application to a University as a transfer student. I just need someone who can possibly edit it, give me feedback and/ or enhance it. I wrote a majority but its really just a rough draft. The question is below as well as my rough draft! Thank you so much.
In order to best evaluate your application, please tell us why you want to transfer to the University of Miami. (650 words maximum)A goal without a plan is only a dream. Ive always had a dream of going to a reputable college like The University Of Miami and making something great out of myself. I grew up always knowing I would go to community college, knowing that was what my family could afford at the time. Palm Beach State and Miami Dade Community College were not my first choices but I had to be practical with my means. I’m grateful I used these colleges as a stepping stone to now apply to The University Of Miami.
I’m currently studying as a transfer student at Florida International University and I’ve discovered a number of pragmatic reasons that FIU is no longer appropriate for my goals and aspirations towards which I am working.
At my current university, I am missing the things that I most value: connection, security and creativity.
FIU does not offer the rigorous, hands-on training in public relations that I want to be prepared for after college. I would like to feel a sense of belongingness and I Iack that sense at FIU.
I know it might sound cheesy that I don’t feel this sense of belongingness but I don’t feel school spirit on the campus and it makes me feel like I’m not getting the most out of my college career. While I do think FIU is a great school, I do not think It will satisfy my goals that I plan to accomplish in my academic career.
When I look at the University Of Miami, I see high quality education and potential for my academic future. The University Of Miami excudes school spirit and diversity. I would love to be more involved in the University of Miami by joining a club or volunteering. I’m most interested in Public Relations and Umiami has the program I believe will challenge me mentally and ultimately make me happier. I know that Umiami has a Public Relations program that has ties to the Public Relations Society of America and maintains a Public Relations Student Society of America chapter. Both things that I think will help me after I graduate.