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Self-Reflection on Attachment Theory
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Self-Reflection on Attachment Theory
My attachment style is avoidance-insecure since I do not trust people outside my most inner circle (Kottler & Shepard, 2014). Therefore, I find it challenging to connect with new friends or strangers, for I prefer not to depend on someone for validation or security. I think this is my attachment style due to my upbringing. Growing up, my parents taught me not to express outward emotions every time a negative incident happened, a skill that I enhanced as I grew up. For this reason, I evade intense connections by focusing on hobbies and other activities.
As someone with an avoidance-insecure attachment style, I often find it challenging to accommodate relationships with others. The feeling stems from my focus on freedom and independence as essential factors in life. Due to this habit, I do not feel the need for others, withdraw from anyone trying to get close to me, and keep secrets to myself. These habits lead to bad or short-term relationships with others since I am unwilling to disclose or show my emotions to people (Robinson et al., 2021). Moreover, since I over-focus on myself and achieving my set goals, some people pull away since the behavior appears selfish and inconsiderate.
Having an insight into attachment styles can help an individual experience successful relationships since it creates awareness concerning personal limitations. Therefore, this can help a person with their future relationships, for it provides information regarding what an individual needs to change to enhance their interpersonal skills. From reading about my attachment style, I have understood that primary caregivers play a huge role in determining what kind of attachment style a child develops. A caregiver who is responsive and available to the child’s needs allows for the development of trust and secure connections (Catlett, n.d). On the other hand, children whose caregivers are sometimes available but preoccupied and unresponsive develop an anxious attachment style (Kottler & Shepard, 2014). In contrast, children whose caregivers are neglectful and unavailable tend to be avoidant-insecure.
References
Catlett, J. Avoidant Attachment: Understanding Insecure Avoidant Attachment. PsychAlive. Retrieved 8 September 2021, from https://www.psychalive.org/anxious-avoidant-attachment/.
Kottler, J. A., & Shepard, D. S. (2014). Introduction to Counseling: Voices from the Field. Cengage Learning.
Robinson, L., Segal, J., & Jaffe, J. (2021). How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships – HelpGuide.org. HelpGuide.org. Retrieved 8 September 2021, from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm.