Genre: Analysis and synthesis essay.
Your answers to these questions will form the framework of your essay for this semester-long
writing assignment. I will post links to each piece we listen to. I will also
post transcripts of each piece so that you may read each one on your own in addition to listening
to it.
Using the notes you take on each podcast throughout the semester, you will compose an analysis
and synthesis essay in which you explore the following questions:
Analysis Questions:
• What connections did you see between the podcasts? Use your imagination and critical
thinking skills in answering this question. Please note that you must find connections
between the various podcasts.
• Did the podcasts show similarities or differences in perspective/point of view, and were
these similarities or differences significant/meaningful? Explain, using specific examples.
Synthesis Question:
• What life lessons did the podcasts hold for you? In other words, how could you apply
lessons you have learned from the podcasts to your own life? Explain.
1.podcast: https://storycorps.org/podcast/carrying-the-weight/
2. podcast: https://storycorps.org/podcast/a-little-bit-of-kindness/
3.prodcast transcript:
Chris: Anthony, if you could ask your dad one question and he gives you a hundred
percent honesty with that one question, what would you ask him?
Anthony: Um, I’ll probably ask, was it worth missing out all this time with your kids for
this one thing you were trying to get when you committed your crime? I mean, I’m
assuming what he would say; he’d probably say “No” because I doubt any parent would
want to miss twelve, thirteen years of their children’s lives for one thing. I would hope he
would say, “No.”
Chris: What do you think is a– what makes a good dad?
Anthony: To me? This is the definition that I want to try to fill when I become a father. I
want to just be there to provide and support my kids and my significant other. I want to
be able to be there for them and be there for their important events, like their first words,
their first steps, their first graduation, their first sports game, their first dance recital,
whatever. So, I feel like just being a good father is just being there for whoever needs
you.
Earlonne: For both of them, there was this fear that even if they tried not to, they’d
somehow end up like their fathers.
Anthony: And there’ll be times when I’m talking with my mom and I’ll do something and
she’ll say, “You look exactly like your dad when you did that.” It’s important to me to
break that cycle. Like, if I have kids one day, I don’t want to not be in their lives. I want
to be in their lives a hundred percent. And I think I just try to avoid it and just try to think
positively and try to get through this last bit of stretch before I go on to college. And then
after that, I get a job and then have a family of my own. [group snapping in encouragement]
Chris: I can’t get him out of my head, you know what I mean? Because there’s things
that my mom sees – er, she doesn’t see him in me, but I think she does. ‘Cause there’s
certain things that I do and she reacts and I can tell it like reminds her of the bad times
and the– you know, it hurts a lot and uh… [sighs] I know I’m not my dad, but… [pauses
and sighs] I mean, I’m not my dad. But I definitely do things just like him. And my mom
says things like, “He’ll shape up when he wants to.” But, I mean, I know he’s not going
to.
[music comes in]
Nigel: Later on, we were talking to Chris and I asked him about this: which of his dad’s
behaviors he was trying to shake?
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Chris: It’s like sticking true to your word. Not Keeping empty promises.
[to Chris speaking quietly in the background]
Nigel: So, you’re saying not give false promises?
Chris: Yeah. To my mom, it’s like, yeah, I’ll help out around the house. And then I’ll just
leave all my responsibilities and forget about them.
[as narrator]
Nigel: This part was really difficult. It was so hard to hear him say these things ’cause I
just wanted to, I don’t know, reach out and say to him: there’s so much about you that’s
wonderful–
Earlonne: I know.
Nigel: – And like, dig into that part.
Earlonne: I know. And these kids, again, taking on heavy shit that they shouldn’t have
to take on.
Nigel: But then Anthony stepped in.
[speaking to Chris]
Anthony: I remember earlier when you were saying how you feel like you’re
underachieving. First of all, I think you’re very– you’re achieving a lot. I mean, you’re in
college right now. That’s a lot more than other people can say they’re doing. My advice
to you: just don’t be afraid to show little resemblance, like, ’cause if you totally just shut
out all the parts of your dad that you know, you’re going to lose the image of him and
how he acts forever. Try to look for the good things your dad did – the good personality
traits your dad did – rather than focus on the negative ones that you’re seeing coming
through to you.
[drumming comes in while group sings]
Project Avary Group Members: Put your feet on the ground. You can hear what you
said, if you listen to them.
Nigel: For me, this entire day was a masterclass in listening. And this kind of listening
means showing up fully for another person.
Earlonne: And maybe their parents couldn’t do it for them, but they could do it for each
other. [Nigel affirms]
14
Project Avary Group Members: …’cause the sound of the river as it moves across the
stone is the same sound as the blood in your body as it moves across your bones.
Earlonne: When we come back, a view from the other side of those letters.
Nigel: A parent talks about what it’s like to try to stay connected with your kids when
you’re locked up.
Project Avary Group Leader: Are you listening? Are you listening? [voices chattering
and laughter in the background]
Earlonne: Hey, Nyge. [Nigel affirms] I’ve been looking for something to read. Tell me
you got something for me.
Nigel: Oh, partner, partner, partner. Of course, I’ve got something for you. It’s short. It’s
sweet. It’s interesting. It is our Ear Hustle newsletter.
Earlonne: Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. [Nigel laughs] You should know I read that
before everybody see that, right? You should know that. [Nigel laughs]
Nigel: Yeah, I guess you’re right. You’re right. You’re right. I will say it is great. And
you’re right, people should read that. So, I’m gonna take that to mean you’re giving it a
recommendation.
Earlonne: Of course, I’d recommend it to all our listeners.
Nigel: And you know what? My mom loves it. She always calls me to tell me when it
arrived.
Earlonne: I know that’s a good mother-daughter moment.
Nigel: Oh yeah. It makes me really happy.
Earlonne: This newsletter Nigel moms read is called “The Lowdown.” And it comes out
monthly.
Nigel: Yep, just once a month. So, it’s really low commitment, but it’s fun and it’s
informative.
Earlonne: And it got a gang of awesome stuff in. Letters from the Ear Hustle team,
music recommendations from our sound designer, Antwan Williams, occasionally even
top secret [Nigel says shhhhh in the background] information about upcoming Ear
Hustle events.
Nigel: And don’t forget the photographs. I love the photographs, especially the ones of
our listeners. You know, our awesome Ear Hustle community.
15
Earlonne: Yeah. When they be sporting their Ear Hustle t-shirts… [crosstalk]
Nigel: [crosstalk] Oh, it’s great.
Earlonne: …at work, doing they thing.
Nigel: Yup. Just go to earhustle.sq.com/newsletter. Type your email address in the box
and then click “sign up.”
Earlonne: That’s earhustle.sq.com/newsletter to get “The Lowdown.”
Nigel: Thanks for doing it. [music fades out]
Michelle Garcia: I’m very open and um, but this is one subject that’s still really stinging,
so, if I, yeah… Don’t let my tears freak you out.
Nigel: How many years ago were you sentenced?
Michelle: I’ve been home nine years. [music comes in]
[as narrator]
Earlonne: This is Michelle Garcia. She got locked up in 2006.
Michelle has four children, two sons and two daughters. We heard the Avary kids talk
about how when their parents were incarcerated, it really changed their relationship with
their parent, permanently. We wanted to know what it felt like from the other side.
[music fades out]
[ambient noise from inside moving car]
[to Michelle]
Nigel: Can you describe the day that you had to leave your family?
Michelle: Oh gosh. March 6th. I knew for about a week that I had to turn myself in. My
younger ones were six and eight, so, how do you explain to them? Basically, mom had
done something wrong and needed to go see a judge. I just didn’t know how to explain it
to them. And so that was just the best that I could do. I was holding onto this hope I was
gonna come home. That it was gonna be okay. I had no idea what was gonna happen. I
never imagined getting a ten-year sentence. I remember the morning very well. Took
my kids to school. And I had taken my wedding ring. And his mom had just passed
away. And we’re Catholic and so the crucifix was on the table and I put my ring on the
table. And I left. And I met my husband and my brother-in-law at Starbucks across the
street from the police station. And I had a chai latte and an old-fashioned donut. And I
walked in. If I would’ve known what was going to happen to me that day on March 6th,
16
I’d probably still be at Mexico and I’m not lying. I think I would have just ran, really, really
hard and never came back. [Nigel affirms]
Nigel: Would you have left your family?
Michelle: Yeah, I think I would. But, not in a bad way, just to save them from all of this.
It really got– it got ugly. We had no idea what was ahead of us. No idea. [music comes
in]
Nigel: Michelle turned herself in and was taken to jail where she spent the next year
and a half waiting to be sentenced.
Earlonne: When her family came to visit her in jail, Michelle was sittin’ in a little cubicle,
separated from her family by a pane of glass.
Nigel: But her son, who was only six at the time, would still try to touch her.
Michelle: You know how we put our hands up to touch each other? He was pressing so
hard against the glass that his fingertips were white. Just so desperate to touch me. Not
being able to touch your kids when they’re like this close to you and they’re hurting
and… you know, it could be something like six-year-old stuff. [music fades out] Like, he
took my toy! But I can’t comfort my kids. And there’s nothing worse than just, as a
mother, knowing that I was actually the root of what their pain was coming from.
Nigel: After Michelle was sentenced, she was transferred to Central California Women’s
Facility in Chowchilla.
Earlonne: The prison was four hours from her house. Every couple of months, her
husband took the kids to go see her.
Nigel: She was so excited about them coming and she wanted to look her best. She
said that she would press her clothes under the mattress the night before, so they didn’t
have to see her in wrinkly prison garb.
Earlonne: But the visits were always over too fast. And saying goodbye was terrible.
Michelle: How do you even descr– their necks turned around. Like, just staring at you.
You’re going that way, they’re going the opposite direction, but eye contact. And you’re
both looking the way that you’re not walking and just standing in line being ready to be
stripped searched, crying. And you have to just bare yourself like that. When you had
just been nurturing, a mom, and feeling normal. And then bam! And there’s always that
one CO that, what the fuck you crying about? And it’s like, you know, hard to say
goodbye to my kids. I miss my kids… Well, you should’ve thought about that shit when
you did your crime. That was really demoralizing.
17
[to Michelle]
Nigel: What was Mother’s Day like inside?
Michelle: It’s bittersweet. You’re so excited that you have your family with you, your
kids with you. But then you sit there and they’re gonna go back to school Monday. And
they’re going to be asked, “What’d you do for Mother’s Day?” And I always wondered
what my kids said. [voice breaking]
I remember I– I was still in county jail. I hadn’t been to prison yet. But it was probably
the first Mother’s Day I was gone. Maybe the second. And my son had entered a
contest: Why He Had the Best Mom. And I believe he got selected to be either the
winner or a finalist. And the teacher called him and asked if I would be able to be there
to accept it… when I heard that, I just remember feeling like something you scrape off
the bottom of your shoe. And Mother’s Day from there out, is seriously a day I wish I
could just erase off the calendar. [emotionally] It starts three weeks before and it takes
me about a month after, just to be able to shake it.
[as narrator]
Nigel: Michelle’s relationship with her older son had been strained even before she
went to prison. But while she was away, it got much worse.
Michelle: My second child, my son, was very angry. He did not speak with me for four
years. I thought, for sure, he’d come around. And he didn’t. I pretty much thought I
would never see my son again. I’d write him a letter every week. Wednesday nights.
Week after week, year after year. With nothing in return. People ask me, “What did you
write about?” I still don’t frickin’ know what I wrote. I just was trying to do the right thing.
Earlonne: Michelle told us how she’d write these eight-page letters to her kids just all, “I
love you.” And “I miss you,” and “I’m sorry.” And on and on.
Nigel: Yeah, and she felt like she was saying what she needed to say to them. But E,
this actually really reminds me of what we heard from those Avary kids. You know,
those long letters that Laila got from her mom that she just couldn’t answer.
Earlonne: I think some parents don’t communicate enough. And others really just say
far too much. And it becomes a burden on the kids.
Michelle: … what that does to the receiving end of the children hearing those letters of
mom crying and being sad; and the damage that they can cause. It was my therapy
writing that letter, but not every letter has to be mailed.
[as narrator]
18
Nigel: Towards the end of her sentence, Michelle’s son got engaged. And his fiancé
urged him to go see his mom.
Earlonne: By this point, Michelle was at a fire camp, which is low security. She and her
son sat down at a picnic table.
Michelle: He sat where you were, and I sat where I am, and he let me have it. He let it
all out. I fucked up his life. He was angry. It was bullshit. “What the fuck were you
thinking?” It was not sugarcoated. It was pretty black and white. Mmhm. Yeah. “I blame
you.” And I took it and oddly enough, that is the strongest relationship to this day
because he did what he had to do to get through it.
Nigel: In 2011, Michelle was released from prison. She realized she didn’t know all of
these basic things about her kids. Like, what they’d like to eat for lunch or what kinds of
things they’d done while she was gone.
[music comes in]
Michelle: You know, it can be Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the niece and nephew or
sister-in-law, like, yeah, we did that…like, they know my kids better is what I feel like
they’re saying. They’re probably not even thinking that, but that’s what I’m hearing. And
there’s something in me that, don’t, you dare talk about that like you know, my kids
better. [Nigel affirms] But the truth of the matter is they probably did know my kids better
than I did. [music fades out]
Nigel: While Michelle was incarcerated, her older daughter basically became the
caretaker for the whole family. And that included things like sending Michelle pictures
about what everyone was up to. She also made sure that Michelle had everything she
needed in prison, like textbooks for her college classes.
Earlonne: But Michelle’s crime put the family in serious debt. They had to sell the
house and it had real consequences for her older daughter.
Michelle: She was in college in DC. Eventually she had to leave because of financial
reasons. [pauses] And, um, sorry. [getting emotional] So, then when I got home, she
was there with the pom-poms greeting me with the rest of them. Shortly after that, I
would say within like three, six months, you could see the resentment coming. I
remember calling friends on the phone after I would be with her. And I’d be like, “Why is
she so mean? Did she know what she said?” Finally, somebody just telling me she’s
hurt, maybe she doesn’t even know she’s hurt. [Nigel affirms] And it’s still a struggle
today out of all honesty. It’s that area that just never completely heals when it comes to
my kids and my family, I really fucked up. And it’s not a mistake that you can just go do
your time and come back and relive, you’re just– it’s a mistake that ripple effects.
19
[music comes in]
Nigel: I mean, Earlonne, this is something we don’t talk about that much. Usually when
we do stories about people getting out, it’s just about how exciting it is and how they’re
getting their life back. But the truth is for some people, there’s just things that have
happened that just cannot be repaired.
Earlonne: Yeah. I don’t think a parent probably will ever see that, you know? I don’t
think a parent would see how important it was for the parent to show up at the Kids’ Day
at school or show up at a basketball game, show up– you will never get that. You will
never understand what the kid was going through. And the kid is still holding on to that.
Nigel: Yeah. I mean, the thing is for some people, those relationships come back and
for others, it doesn’t. And I think this is really about accepting it. Accepting where people
are. [music fades out]
Project Avary Group Members: [singing] I believe in the power of love. Honeybees
love sweetness to help the world bloom bringing love to the power from the flower to the
fruit, we can learn a thing or two. So, give a little, give a little, give a lot, don’t stop. A
helping hand makes the world go ‘round there’s more than enough. I believe in the
power of love…
Earlonne: Our inside co-host Rahsaan “New York” Thomas has two sons: Brandon and
Nicholas.
Nigel: Oh yeah. And I remember he had pictures of them down in the media lab at San
Quentin.
Earlonne: Yeah. I mean, it’s just like an office outside. You have pictures of your loved
ones.
Nigel: Exactly.
Earlonne: New York’s been locked up for over twenty years now. And he obviously
deals with a lot of these communication issues that we’ve been hearing about.
[over the phone to New York] Is there any question you wish you could ask one of your
kids right now?
Rahsaan “New York” Thomas: [over the phone] Yeah, I would ask Nicholas, like, why
he don’t mess with me no more, man. Like, why is he not talking to my whole side of the
family? I don’t have no clue, man. One day he just stopped talking to my whole side of
the family: my brother, my mother, and me. I don’t know what’s going on.
20
Earlonne: So, if one of your kids is listening to this episode, right? [New York affirms]
What would you like to say to him?
New York: I would say to Nicholas, I would say, “Feelings ain’t facts, man. The fact is
we love you. We love you. Call us. Call your grandmother. Call me. Put some money on
your phone, so I can call you, rather. Let’s work this out, man, considering the fact that
we love you. And I’m sorry. Like, whatever it is I did, I’m sorry. No need to not speak to
each other, na’mean? We can’t work it out if we can’t communicate. So, there’s too
much love here to just throw away.”
[music comes in] [guest speakers share the following credits]
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, we’d like to thank Ziri, Laila, Maurice…
Speaker 2: Chris, Anthony, Cesar
Speaker 1: Gerardo, Michelle, and Eric.
Speaker 2: And Janeisha
Speaker 1: Thanks to Michelle Garcia for being in the episode.
Speaker 2: Thanks to Alex Escalante, Zach Whelan and Amy DeLeon at Project Avary.
Speaker 1: Thanks to Kele Mitoto. He played the music at the Avary Fire Circle.
Speaker 2: Ear Hustle is produced by Nigel Poor, Earlonne Woods, and Rahsaan “New
York” Thomas, John Yahya Johnson, and Bruce Wallace.
Speaker 1: This episode was sound designed and engineered by Antwan Williams with
music by Antwan, David Jassy, and Richie Morris.
Speaker 2: Amy Standen edits the show. And Julie Shapiro is the Executive Producer
for Radiotopia.
Speaker 1: Ear Hustle would like to thank acting warden Ron Bloomfield. And as you
know, as every episode of Ear Hustle has to be approved by this guy right here.
Lieutenant Sam Robinson: This is Lieutenant Sam Robinson, the Public Information
Officer at San Quentin State Prison and I do approve this episode.
Speaker 2: This podcast is made possible with support from the Chan Zuckerberg
initiative, working to redesign the justice system by building power and opportunity for
communities impacted by incarceration.